Written by: Brainard Linco
Welcome, friends, to the Twilight Howl, where we delve into the intricacies of remote socialization. Mostly through games. Online games. Games where you play with other people. This is a game review blog, okay?
As Valentine’s Day crept closer, the Woolfie team decided to try their hand at this competitive dating sim. That’s right, Monster Prom has a competitive multiplayer game mode where each player can either play it safe and try to woo one of the less popular characters, a difficult endeavor even in single player, or they can follow their hearts and pursue the one they truly are most interested in, potentially facing off against other players in a battle of brains and brawn for their coveted, pardon my foul language, waifu or husbando.
The game began with an introduction of the setting, the goal and the characters. Then came character creation, where the game had atotally accurate personality quiz to determine each player’s stats and where the viciousness implied by the words ‘competitive datingsim’ came to the forefront, from unfounded accusations (No, Bob, I am not a Global Warming Denier.) to sheer force of enthusiasm(PONY!).
Now,it’s safe to assume that we each had our own plans and strategies moving forward, basing our choices on the short introductions given for each of the potential romantic partners. As a wise man once said: “No plan of operations reaches with any certainty beyond the first encounter with the enemy's main force.”
I highly doubt that when Bob started sidling up to the big, burly werewolf jock that they expected to end up in the friendzone. I highly doubt that when Stevia bought the random gift option, that they expected to win the lottery and have a ton of money in exchange for having stats in the negative digits. I highly doubt that when Jacob bought a generic white blanket that they expected they’d spend the entire school year under it, pretending to be a ghost and getting rejected by the ghost they tried to catfish because ghost-on-ghost action is ‘too vanilla’. And of course, as the writer of this completely unprofessional review, I have the privilege to arbitrarily not share my own embarassing misadventures, so there.
Our playthrough of Monster Prom was a hilarious dumpster fire, not helped by our ineffective attempts at voice acting. The writing is whimsical and the humor leans on the crass side. Sexuality really doesn’t matter much, as players can choose either male or female appearances, specify their character’s gender and even their pronouns and can pursue any of the romantic interests (end even a sentient calculator in the DLC). 10/10 would play with friends again.
THE WOOLF PACK GRANTS THIS GAME A SO WOW! MUCH GREAT! 4.5/5 DOGE RATING!